In addition to that there are a few other things that are changing and remain totally out of my control. This is not unusual, many things are beyond human control and in my opinion part of growing up and being responsible for smaller humans is learning that one cannot control all the things. At best you can have two things in each hand, a child on a hip, talk on the phone and cook at the same time, but probably not successfully. I say probably because I do love a challenge. One of the things that really starts to get to me when I am feeling pressured and cornered is unfinished projects...you know the ones. The half started something or other that always peers at you from the bottom of the bag while you quickly grab what you need and cover it up again. Those ones start to wear on me, they start to become heavy and overbearing.
I knit because I love to knit, I love the repetitive motion, I love the yarn, the color, the design. I love to have a job that allows me to draw on all my strengths, color, drawing, design, writing, and that also goes with me to ballet and piano lessons. I do love having a finished object beautifully handknitted and created with care, but sometimes I lose steam halfway through and just can't or won't finish something.
And then it weighs on me, taunts me, antagonizes the voice of failure in my head, tells me I can't possibly start something new while I have so many other things on the go. Well then it needs to go, no one tells me what to do but me.
This is freeing, and I would highly recommend it as a catalyst for new creation, an effective mood booster as well as a serious high. Unravel something, do it quickly and savagely after it is mostly knit and be in control of what you want to create when you want to create it!
